Tuning In & Betting on Myself
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I’ve been back in the dating world…lightly. And I’ve been chatting with men here and there. One in particular, though, really lit a fire under my ass.
And not in the way you’d think.
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I truly believe each being we come in contact with is here as a mirror to show us parts of ourselves that we need to work on or embrace.
We are limitless in possibilities and outcomes, and I choose to believe in the positive.
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I don’t know where to even begin, but I’ll start here…
I’ve been back in the dating world…lightly. And I’ve been chatting with men here and there. One in particular, though, really lit a fire under my ass.
And not in the way you’d think.
We literally chatted for a span of four days or something like that. Nothing serious, also I wasn’t really about it. But we chatted via FaceTime and texting. To me, the conversations were so so. But we were on a topic about his life. He works a corporate job and is doing what most people are doing in this world. Homeowner, nothing super extraordinary, just the norm, etc. We got on the topic of PTO and just the rigidness of it all, etc. He expressed deeply how he isn’t happy with his circumstances and felt stuck.
He could change that. And I feel no one is ever truly stuck.
Like, you can have it all if you deeply believe that to be true.
He argued and went back and forth with me about how that’s not possible and he can’t adjust or pivot to align with what he truly desires.
He said “I just won’t gamble on myself.”
I got major ick from that.
But why was I so triggered by that belief system?
I truly believe each being we come in contact with is here as a mirror to show us parts of ourselves that we need to work on or embrace.
He was here to reveal something to me.
So I sat and reflected on it…
What was it that I need to understand more?
What about his belief system mirrored my inner world?
I started to wonder if that may be something I need to look at more deeply within myself.
It came down to this: betting on myself. Fully. Wholeheartedly.
And not to say I don’t… but I’ve been avoiding something in particular within myself that is coming back to the surface.
I’ve been working on my website for quite some time, but have been using excuses as to procrastinating and prolonging the whole situation. I thought that by picking up more physical classes, being there more for my fam, was and would be more priority and more important than finishing my website.
But after attaining all the other things I set out to achieve… I still had this unsatisfying emptiness within me.
It was the website.
And it’s so little in the grand scheme of things, but substantial in what it represents.
This website is an opportunity for me to be creative and authentic in a way I haven’t been before. Especially with the blog section, expressing my current feelings and emotions is not something I do often in public. Uncomfortable, but also necessary.
There’s no growth without uncomfortably.
So here I am.
Thinking about this trigger this dude brought out of me…
Hearing him say he’d never bet on himself really did make me feel sad, because it’s a part of me that has held that belief. But it’s not something I want nor does it serve me.
In that moment, I saw the belief I was holding onto and was able to therapize and work through it.
I think all we have in life is to believe in ourselves.
Believe it will work out in our favor.
All my life, I invested in others’ dreams and beliefs and now it’s time to fully believe and invest in me.
Bet on myself.
I don’t know where all this will take me nor should I.
But I have faith and trust it’ll all conspire in my favor, because I believe in me.
That’s the belief system I have now evolved into.
And I want to be around people and energies that share that belief too.
In a partner, I want someone who believes in the impossible, even when I have moments of doubt, and vice versa. It’s instrumental in us growing, evolving, and excelling.
We are reflections of one another, and I choose to live a life of optimism, faith, trust, love, and miracles.
Shit, just to be alive and exist is a miracle. So don’t tell me miracles can’t happen. They happen every moment of our existence.
So why not bet on yourself and flow and see where it takes you?
We are limitless in possibilities and outcomes, and I choose to believe in the positive.
So with that, I evolved my belief.
And experiencing that person, for even just a few days, was the gift and energy I needed to put a fire under my ass and just do it.
Be real. Be creative. Be expressive. Be love.
See, dating isn’t all bad.
Each person we date or encounter is a stepping stone to deeper unconditional love with the self, then with others.
But it starts with you.
I’m a divine, mystical, loving being, living a fulfilled life.
And right now, I embrace and enjoy this season of me.
A vibrant 32 year old getting to flow and living a life my way. 🤍
Chakra Activation
Aligned. Illuminated. Present.
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